Nailing down the right type of sperm donor

Well, risk really comes down to intent.

Does the donor intend to be the father of the child in which he plays an active role just like any full-time or co-parenting Dad would?

Will the donor want to be called Dad?

Is the donor going to want to financially support the child such as paying child support, school fees or sporting activities?

Will the donor emotionally engage with the child and have a relationship with them?

These are just some of the questions you’ll need to be clear about if you’re looking to use a known donor.  And while you might have just read them and thought, ‘of course not!’, well then you need to ensure that it’s exactly the same response as the donor.  He might have other thoughts or hopes that you are unaware of.

It would be pretty rare to find a known donor online who’d want to randomly decide he wants to parent your child, but the risk is there.  So you want to mitigate this as much as possible. The best way to do this is to complete a letter of intent or a preconception agreement before you even embark on your conception mission with someone.   A contract really outlines what the lay of the land will look like both before and after a baby.

I can email you a template that you can copy and paste to suit your situation.  Hit this HERE.

Risk exists!

While there’s risk involved in just about anything we do in life such as flying in a plane, riding in a rideshare car, or just swimming in the ocean, the risk of tangling yourself in some form of legal battle over a child is pretty slim.  Surprisingly, it’s actually more likely to happen if you use a friend as a sperm donor opposed to a known donor – someone you meet with through a social platform.

You might think using someone you truly know is the way to go because you already have a relationship with them.  You have been friends for years right?! It’s also a bonus that they’re a good looking upright sperm specimen, is gay, in a relationship and doesn’t really ever want to have his own kids.  This lifetime friend seems ideal before a baby.  But once bubs arrives, he forms a natural bond with the child and then wants to play a larger role in their life.  This is when it can get complicated!

Co-parenting can work for some people but you need to be aware that if you decide that your chosen mate is great, then you need to be okay with potentially only ever being a part-time parent.